No Longer
by Atiaran
Summary: Skyfire tries to persuade Starscream to join the Autobots. Songfic set to the Fray's "How To Save a Life." G1-cartoon-centric.


**Standard disclaimer:** None of the characters, places, etc. in this story are mine but are the property of Hasbro / Takara. Lyrics to "How to Save a Life" are the property of The Fray. No copyright infringement is intended by their use in this story.

**Author's note:** I came up with the idea for this fic after seeing the Scrubs ep "My Lunch" and tracking down the final song in that ep, "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. Those lyrics seemed to me to be telling a story, one that I felt could easily apply to Skyfire and Starscream. This is a songfic set to those lyrics, detailing an attempt by Skyfire to bring Starscream over to the Autobots. I intended it as a friendship fic, but it can be seen as slash if you so choose. As always, thanks to LadyKate, who was willing to beta despite this not being her fandom.

* * *

Skyfire was young still, as Transformers go. He was young, and so he still truly believed that it was possible to show people where their best interests lay. It was possible—he really believed this—to show others the truth, to show them by the power of words that they were on the wrong path and to persuade them to change their ways. _That_was what he told Optimus, when the Autobot leader asked what had possessed him to send the message to Starscream.

"I had to try," he told the Autobot leader quietly. "After all, he was my friend. Once." He turned his face to the repair bay wall.

_Once._ No longer.

* * *

"Where _is _he?" Megatron was fuming.

"_Starscream: unaccounted for,"_ came the monotonous, yet somehow melodious tones of Soundwave behind him. The two of them were at the airlock of the underwater _Nemesis,_ and Megatron was enraged. Starscream had been AWOL for most of the day, despite the fact that a raid on an oil refinery had been planned for that morning. When Starscream was nowhere to be found, the raid had to be scrubbed. Megatron was furious.

"Did that piece of scrap mention anything to you about where he might be going earlier?"

"_Negative."_ The emotionless communications officer's red optics gleamed.

"When he returns I will melt him down for slag, that worthless—"

Soundwave held up one hand. _"Attention, Megatron: Starscream arriving at outer airlock now."_

"_Excellent."_ The word was as close to a growl as Megatron could get with synthesized circuits. The two of them waited as the machinery of the locking doors clanked and rumbled, rolling aside at last to reveal the red-and-white form of the Decepticon Air Commander.

Megatron was on him at once, raising his fusion cannon at the end of his arm and pointing it directly at the Seeker jet. "_Starscream," _he hissed. "Where in the _Pit_ have you been, you incompetent collection of bolts? You were _supposed_ to lead the attack on the oil refinery at 0800 hours, you pile of slag!" His red optics blazed with a fury that would have sent almost any other Decepticon running for cover and ordinarily would have reduced Starscream to babbling fear.

Not this time. The Seeker jet lifted his own optics to Megatron and stared at him blankly, as if he couldn't quite tell what the silver mech was saying. After a long moment, he slowly responded, "….Out."

Thrown off his stride, Megatron regarded his Air Commander in disbelief. Starscream simply stood there, shoulders and wings hanging. After a moment, the Decepticon leader recollected himself. "Out? _Out?!_ You vanish for the entire day without so much as a word to anyone—you miss an attack that had been in the planning for _weeks_—and all you say to defend yourself is that you were _OUT?!_ The entire assault had to be scrubbed because of you, you worthless excuse for a mech! Give me one reason why I shouldn't fire now and blast you to pieces!"

Starscream stared at Megatron with that same blank look. A strange expression crossed his face, and he just turned and walked past him without a word.

Megatron, amazed, actually turned to exchange a glance with Soundwave, but found no help there. He thundered, "I am warning you, don't you _dare_ walk away from me! Return immediately!"

Starscream didn't even bother to look around, simply waved one hand vaguely and kept on walking.

"Soundwave," Megatron turned to his communications officer. "Find out what's wrong with Starscream."

The other mech's red optics glinted. His harmonized tones echoed in the large, empty hallway.

"_As you command, Megatron._"

* * *

_Step one: you say we need to talk_

_He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk_

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through_

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right_

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came_

Skyfire had thought for days about the message, carefully crafting it based on everything he had known about Starscream and everything he had learned since he had been awakened a few months ago. He hadn't dared to reveal in the body of the message that it was from him. He hadn't even known if Starscream as he was now would come, but he had to take the chance.

They met at the North Pole, over the same airspace where Skyfire had been unthawed only a few months ago. Skyfire concealed himself when he heard the approaching whine of Starscream's jets, and watched from behind his cover as his old friend touched down on the ice pack. Starscream paced restlessly for a moment, then raised a hand to shield his optics from the glaring sun, and began scanning the horizon. He looked wary, watchful, suspicious. _That suspicion had always been part of him, _Skyfire suddenly remembered. _Even back when I knew him—back when I knew him? But that was only a few orns ago, at least for me…._

He couldn't have changed that much in the intervening time. _Could he?_

"All right, whoever you are, where are you?" Starscream called. His high, shrill voice echoed slightly across the barren Arctic waste. "I received your message and came as you asked. Show yourself."

Skyfire fought down a tremor spreading along his circuits. If he had been human he would have drawn a deep breath; as it was, he set himself and stepped out from behind the ice spire that had been shielding him.

"Over here," he said quietly. Starscream started a bit and turned to face him. A spasm of anger crossed his face. Skyfire felt a jolt of alarm as the other mech raised his null ray briefly. Then let it fall. A mask of distrust slipped down over his friend's features, hiding the earlier anger.

"_You." _He spoke the word as if it was distasteful to him.

"Yes, it's me. Starscream, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Talk to yourself. My wings are still disaligned from the beating Megatron gave me when_you_ betrayed me." He turned his back on Skyfire and began to transform, ready to leave Skyfire behind.

"_Wait!"_ Skyfire called desperately. "Don't leave! I just want to _talk_! You _owe_ me that much—"

Starscream stopped. Transformers were less expressive with their body language than the fleshy creatures Skyfire had learned were called _humans_—they almost had to be, since their design gave them a far smaller range of motion—but there was a rigidity to his friend's shoulders that meant the same thing in any lexicon His fists clenched, and he turned and came stalking back to Skyfire, radiating anger.

"I owe you? _I _owe_you?_ Do you have any _idea_ what Megatron did to me after_you_ switched sides?" Guilt washed over Skyfire, though he did his best to hide it. Starscream was so angry he was practically sparking. "I put what little credibility I have with him on the line for you! I dug you _out_ of that ice pack—you'd still be _frozen_ if not for me! I came back for you after four_million_ years—after you _left_ me—and this is how you repay me? And then you say—"

"Ha—I got you talking," Skyfire said.

Starscream stopped, looking confused. Skyfire watched his friend struggle with his emotions and felt a sudden weariness. At that moment, it seemed as if he were looking at Starscream across a great divide. Their paths had diverged millions of years ago—Starscream had gone on, while Skyfire had not. _Do I even know him anymore?_ The whole idea suddenly seemed futile and pointless.

Still, he had to try.

"Just say what you have to say," Starscream said sullenly.

* * *

_Let him know that you know best_

'_Cause after all you do know best_

_Try to slip past his defense_

_Without granting innocence_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong_

_The things you told him all along_

_And pray to God he hears you_

_And pray to God he hears you_

"Starscream, I just want you to listen to me. You always used to before, remember?" Starscream gave a single, reluctant nod. "You always said that I had the common sense between the two of us, remember? Remember how it used to be, just the two of us, exploring the galaxy together? You and me, full fuel tanks, an open horizon? How we always used to be able to rely on each other?"

They had. Long-range scientific exploration had been extremely dangerous, back in the day when Skyfire had been active. Each new planet encountered was a complete unknown, with new and potentially deadly hazards, not all of which were immediately detectable or apparent—some of which did not reveal themselves until they were right on top of the luckless explorer. And if the planets were dangerous, then the vast emptiness of space was more so, with ion storms, the risk of running out of fuel, cometoids, asteroids, gravity wells and a thousand other hazards, each of which could claim a mech or a femme before they even had time to process the information. No rescue was possible for the long-range explorers—they were too far away from Cybertron, vorns away in some cases. Each member of the two-man exploration teams literally had to be able to trust the other mech with their life. Any help one could expect could only come from the mech right by one's side…and often that help was not enough. Skyfire had been Starscream's third partner—his previous two had fallen on a planet with some sort of metal-devouring creatures and been sucked into an unpredicted supernova, respectively—while Starscream had been Skyfire's sixth.

Perhaps it was the memory of that time that had reached his old friend.

"That was a long time ago," the other mech said, but his face showed he was listening, albeit reluctantly.

_This is a narrow window. I have to make it count._

Skyfire began to speak, throwing the core of his spark into what he was saying. He spoke of the past, the vorns the two of them had spent on the edge of the galaxy, just the two of them, when everything had been new and all horizons open. "Do you remember?" he asked, and went on to weave a tapestry of the experiences they had had together. "Remember when I almost got sucked into that black hole and you pulled me out?...Remember when you ran out of energon in the middle of that ion storm and I siphoned my own tanks to supply you so you wouldn't go into stasis lock?...Or that time when we got caught in the middle of the comet shower and neither of us thought we were ever going to make it out?...Do you remember….?"

At first he couldn't tell whether he was having any effect. He spoke for what seemed like hours, trying to recreate a past and a time that was eons ago for his friend, though it was almost yesterday for him. He watched Starscream's visage closely as he spoke, unable to see if he was getting through. For a long time his friend registered no change of countenance, and Skyfire almost despaired,_ It's not working._ And yet…the other mech was still there; he hadn't transformed and taken to the skies, hadn't stalked away angrily telling Skyfire to shove it up his aft. _He hasn't left. That's something at least._ At last, the distance began to drain from his friend's face. He could see that Starscream was listening, almost against his will. After a while the other mech began to speak as well, at first just a sentence here or there—"Yes, I remember that," or "No, it didn't happen like that," then, as he began to warm to the tale, eventually actively sharing his recollections and memories, working almost eagerly with Skyfire to create an image of a time long gone. His sullen hostility began to evaporate in the memory of their shared past—Skyfire could actually watch his anger dissolve, as the old lightness he remembered spread over Starscream's face. But at the same time a chill went through him.

_Even back then, there was too little of that lightness in him. He was always quick to explode, lash out—over little things or anything at all._ As the somewhat more experienced, larger, wiser mech, Skyfire had been able to weather his friend's storms indulgently, deflecting his anger with well-placed words or with laughter. _That was eons ago,_ he realized again. _Now…He looks as if he hasn't genuinely laughed in a long time. _

"Those were the days, remember?" Skyfire told him. "Before the war, when it was just the two of us, you and I. You used to heed me back then. Because I was the older mech, because I had been exploring longer. We trusted each other. Do you remember that?"

"Yes. I remember," Starscream replied stiffly. "You were…my friend." He paused, then turned away, clasping his hands behind his back with a strange dignity. All the first-generation Seeker jets were awkward and clumsy on the ground—their great wings, spreading from the center of their backs, severely limited the range of motion of their arms, and made them unbalanced and top-heavy. There was an additional awkwardness to his movements, however—an awkwardness that Skyfire put down to emotion. Staring out over the distant horizon, his next words to Skyfire were so low as to be almost inaudible. "To be honest, you were…the only friend I ever had."

"Even in all the years since you knew me?"

"Friendship is…not a high priority…for Decepticons." Starscream was still staring into the distance, where the brilliant rays of the sun struck off the ice, turning the white snow into shades of crystal blue and green and purple. His wings vibrated briefly and then he rounded on Skyfire, almost angrily. "Besides, I'm not like you," he burst out. "I never was. You always—" One fist clenched. "Oh, forget it."

"That's what I mean," Skyfire said quietly. "You used to heed me back then, so heed me now, one last time. Listen—"

"Heed you for _what?_" Already the suspicion was creeping back into his voice, and Skyfire cursed inwardly. It hurt more to know that from his point of view, such suspicion was justified.

"Starscream," he said, "I…." Skyfire trailed off. He had spent orns working on what he was going to say next, but it was hard...so hard. He summoned his courage.

"I've been thinking since I left," he began. The words seemed heavy, difficult. "And with everything I've learned, in light of our old friendship, I thought I owed it to both of us to call you here and ask you, for the sake of our friendship and more importantly, for your _own_ sake…to come and join the Autobots."

His spark sank within him as Starscream's optics flared with anger. "_What?!_" the other mech shrieked, and started to raise his null-ray again. "I should blast you where you stand for that, you worthless pile of slag!"

Quickly Skyfire closed his hand over the end of his friend's weapon and pushed it aside. "Just hear me out," he pleaded. "Starscream—the Decepticon army is not a good place. Not for you or for anyone. I've been looking through the Autobot files since I joined them—I've seen—"

"You've seen a lot of Autobot propaganda," Starscream sneered, too quickly. "The Autobots are weak, pathetic fools who are _envious_ of we stronger Decepticons, and they—"

"They are not weak," Skyfire said quietly. "And they certainly aren't envious. The kind of things the Decepticons have—the kind of power they seek—isn't something any Autobot would ever want for himself, let alone _envy._ They all are strong…far stronger than you realize."

That seemed to catch Starscream off his guard. There was a peculiar stillness to his expression—a strange openness that reminded Skyfire powerfully of their time together so many years ago. He continued, hoping to reach his friend…hoping to Primus that his friend would _hear_ him.

"Starscream, the Decepticons are _evil_—"

"You insult my intelligence. Do you think I don't _know_ that?" Starscream jeered, regaining his form. "Of course they are—_and so am I_," he continued. A cruel smile spread across his face. "You didn't realize that? What did you _think_ I was? Of _course_ we're evil, that's the _point._"

A chill ran through Skyfire as the words rang in his audials. Again that sense of distance slammed into him, dividing him from the sneering mech, red against the brilliant white snow fields, who stood there looking at him contemptuously. Every second of the vast eons that separated him from his former friend was a crushing weight pressing on his shoulder plates, driving him into the ground. The list of points he had planned to make—all his brilliant reasons—deserted him, and he was left empty-handed, staring dumbly at Starscream, groping to understand.

"The last time we were here was only a handful of orns ago, to me." The words were slow, quiet. "And back then, you never would have said such a thing. Why _would_ you say such a thing? To _me,_ of all people? What happened to you?" Slowly that cruel smile faded from the other mech's features. Skyfire continued, "You asked what did I think you were? Well, I suppose I thought you were my friend. Am I wrong?"

"Skyfire…" Starscream's face closed again. "Say what you have to say," he repeated, more sullen still.

"The Decepticons are_evil_. Fine, so you don't care about that—even though when I knew you….well, leave that aside. Not only are they evil, but they are _dangerous,_" he began. "And I don't mean that in a good way. In the Decepticon army—I've seen enough of it to know that each mech's value is solely in terms of what he contributes to the cause. The minute you stop contributing, you are tossed aside. Your own leader, Megatron, is a brutal and sadistic thug who uses you all ruthlessly to further his personal agendas and would not hesitate to get you killed if he thought it would benefit him. Even among the lower ranks there is no loyalty—all of you are always scheming for advantage, looking to stab one another in the back if it means you can advance. I don't _care_ how long you've lasted so far," he began as Starscream started to say something, "in that kind of environment, eventually your luck will run out and you'll end up deactivated. If Megatron doesn't do it himself, someone or something else will. The humans have a saying: 'Sooner or later, the house always wins.' And Starscream—you're my friend," he implored. "You've been my friend for vorns. I_really_ don't want that to happen to you."

_That got through to him_,_ though I don't know how much. _The strange stillness was back in Starscream's features. _I wonder how long it's been since anyone's said anything like that to him. _"And finally…I know you said you don't care…but the Decepticons, the army, the things they do—hurting the innocent, enslaving flesh creatures, destroying worlds—those things are terrible for the spirit. They deaden you from the spark out. And even though you don't care right now….those things have a way of catching up with you. Maybe not any time soon, maybe not for vorns yet, but someday."

He paused, studying his friend. _That appears to have gone right over Starscream's head,_ he realized with a sigh.

"Do you know what it's like to be an Autobot?" Skyfire pushed on, stepping closer. "It feels good. There's no fear. That's how I knew it was the right place to be, without knowing anything else about them. In the Decepticons, there's always fear. Am I wrong?" He paused, but Starscream made no answer. His face was still, open, but one fist had clenched at his side. _Is he hearing me?_ "Even in the short time I was with the Decepticons, before I really knew what was going on, I felt the fear—I sensed it. I couldn't _not _sense it, it was all around us, every astrosecond of every orn. Fear that one of your _allies_ would stab you in the back, fear that Megatron would haul off and waste you for no reason, fear of being spied on, turned on, betrayed…."

Skyfire studied his friend, then continued, "You know the human saying 'Tone is set from the top?' I've heard and seen enough of how Megatron treats his troops. How he treats _you,_" he added, and watched something flicker in his friend's face. "Optimus Prime is different. He actually cares for the troops under his command—for all of us, each and every one. He will always do his best for us—he proves his commitment by laying his life on the line in every battle. He—"

"Optimus Prime….." Starscream turned his head away. "Prime is weak." It sounded as if he were saying it by rote.

"Optimus Prime is the strongest mech I have ever met."

Starscream stared at the horizon again. Skyfire watched his profile.

"How long has it been—honestly—since you've lived without that kind of fear? Since you've lived without having to watch what you say?"

The other mech gestured impatiently, though he did not turn back. "I never watch what I say."

"So I've heard," Skyfire replied wryly, then continued without missing a beat, though his spark ached at the bitter humor in his friend's voice. "That fear—there's none of that in the Autobots. We all trust each other. We look out for one another, defend each other. We've—as the humans would say, we've got each other's backs. You and I used to have each other's backs like that, remember? Who has your back among the Decepticons? Tell me right now—who do you have that is looking out for you?"

He paused, studying his friend. That peculiar stillness was still on the other mech's features. After a moment, Skyfire continued, "You don't have to answer. I can see it in your face. Nobody is, are they?" Starscream said nothing. "How does that _feel_, knowing that there isn't a single mech in the whole army you can count on to be there for you?"

"Shut up." Again the other mech's shoulders tightened. He turned his back on Skyfire completely. "You don't understand how we Decepticons are. You don't know—"

Skyfire followed, persuasive. "Don't you remember how it used to be, the two of us watching out for each other? Wouldn't you like to feel like that again? Can you—can you even imagine, just for a moment, how it would be to be surrounded by people you can actually rely on? People who care about you?"

Again, for a long moment, no response. Starscream looked out over the waste, his wings trembling slightly. At last he said, "I can't rely on anyone."

"Me." Skyfire stepped up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You can rely on me."

There was silence for a moment, the only sound the snow-laden arctic wind whipping across the gleaming icy landscape. Skyfire waited, not daring to say more, afraid he'd already said too much. Starscream bowed his head. His shoulders twitched, and Skyfire thought, just for a moment, that he'd reached him. But then…

"Can I?" he asked with rising hostility. He brushed Skyfire's hand off and rounded on his friend.

* * *

_As he begins to raise his voice_

_You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

_Drive until you lose the road_

_Or break with the ones you followed_

_He will do one of two things_

_He will admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

"You know you can," Skyfire began, sensing his friend's growing anger. "I promise you—"

"No, I can't. I_thought_ I could rely on you, which is why I bothered to dig you out of the ice in the first place, but then _you_ proved me wrong, didn't you?"

_I'm losing him._ Skyfire rushed to apologize, though he wasn't entirely sure what he was apologizing for. "I'm sorry, Starscream. I never meant for you to—to get in trouble—"

"In trouble?" His friend gave a bitter laugh. "You have no _idea_, do you?"

"No," Skyfire admitted quietly. "I don't. But if you join my side then it will be—"

"No." Then Starscream's voice sharpened. "No, _you_ come over to _my_ side. Come back," he said intensely, stepping closer. The snow grated under his heavy tread. "Megatron will let you back in, I know it, _especially_ if you give him some of the Autobot secrets. We could even say the whole thing was a ploy on your part to get close to the Autobots, gain their trust, and then betray them."

"Starscream—"

"You say you're my friend?" the jet continued. "_Prove it._ _You _do something for _me._ If I had you on my side—" His optics brightened. "Do you know what we could do together? We could—We could destroy the Autobots, take over the Decepticons—_overthrow Megatron…_"

His optics were shining as brightly as the sun on the snow all around them. Skyfire stepped back involuntarily. _Who __**is**__ this mech?_ "Starscream, I don't want to do any of that," he said. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"I'm talking about_power!_" Starscream pounded one fist into his other hand. "You and I together could seize power over the entire galaxy! Say you're with me. _Say it,_" he demanded, leaning toward Skyfire, practically thrumming with tension. "Come back with me. It'll be just like old times, Skyfire, the two of us, relying on each other—_finally,_ being able to have someone at my side, someone I can trust, just for once—" Even in the depths of his growing alarm, Skyfire could feel the palpable ache in his friend's voice. "We could make even _Megatron_ acknowledge us—leave him no choice but to see our greatness. With you I can do it, I know I can. Come back with me. You have to. You _owe_ me," he demanded.

"I _owe_ you? Starscream—"

"_Yes!_ I searched for you—I waited in stasis for you for four _million_ years—I dug you out of the ice—and you _abandoned _me time and again." The jet's voice was thin and shrill with anger. "I've sacrificed much for you, and you've done _nothing_ for me but make Megatron angry with me and earn me punishment. So will you come back?"

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?"

"Who _cares_ what you said?" Starscream hissed impatiently. The sun was brilliant overhead, its radiance shining off the snow and ice all around them. Skyfire darkened his optics…and as he did so, his spark clutched within him, for the sunlight limned Starscream's red wings and body as if he were alight and burning. He shuddered as a premonition swept over him.

"Starscream," he said quietly, "this is your last chance. I will not ask you again. If you stay where you are, it _will_ destroy you in the end. I feel that very strongly. So I ask you now, for the final time. Will you join me and the Autobots, or will you remain with the Decepticons?"

Then, right there was the last Skyfire ever saw of the old Starscream—if he'd actually seen it and wasn't just imagining. There was a flash of uncertainty, of pain, in the other mech's red optics—and for one final moment, it seemed there might be a chance….

Then Starscream's face hardened, and that flicker was gone.

"The _Autobots._" He spat. "Those weak, wormlike cowards. You were always too soft, Skyfire," he sneered. "I used to be…but I've changed, and for the better. When I overthrow Megatron, you and I will—"

"I'll take that as a no." Skyfire looked at his friend for one last time. It was strange, to feel a friendship die. _Why did I ever come here? _He regarded the ranting, sneering, somehow pitiable red mech across from him with a strange detachment. _I don't recognize him at all. Another Starscream may once have been my friend, long ago. This pathetic, delusional creature never was._ It didn't even hurt, now.

"Goodbye, Starscream." He turned his back on what had once been his friend and set himself, preparing to transform. "We're friends no longer."

"Wait! Skyfire, where are you going?" The words seemed distant, thin, almost piteous. Skyfire braced himself, then leapt, clearing some space for the transformation sequence. His engines roared to life, and he felt the air lifting him up, sweeping him from the ground.

"_Skyfire, come back here! Don't you fly away from me! Come back __**immediately!**__"_the other mech shrieked behind him, tinny and high with distance. "_SKYFIRE!_"

He heard the boom of Starscream's null ray before he felt it, a sharp trail of fire being blazed across his wing; and the pain struck Skyfire's head like a slap. _He shot me! He actually—_

For a sickening moment he was falling in space, able to make no headway, so lost in the pain he didn't know where he was. The wind rushing past him roared in his audials. After an agonizing length of time, Skyfire pulled out of it and fired his afterburners, putting the North Pole—and Starscream—behind him once and for all.

* * *

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life_

Starscream didn't even bother to turn on the light when he entered his quarters, just closed the door behind him and stretched out on his recharge berth, his optics gazing upward into darkness. The flare of rage he had felt while facing Skyfire was long gone; he felt drained, exhausted. His spark core felt as if it had been hollowed out, replaced with the cold emptiness of vacuum. Images of memory flickered behind his optics—Skyfire and he, exploring the outer Rim planets, Skyfire slowly thawing out of the ice, disoriented, looking up at him with such trust, Skyfire tearing off his Decepticon insignia and declaring that he was an Autobot…Skyfire transforming to jet mode and taking off. Leaving him behind. _Again. What happened to us?_

One fist clenched.

_I should have shot that traitor the moment I touched down._

Still the images came….himself and Skyfire, laughing together, Skyfire hauling his aft out of the path of a supernova or bailing him out of a black hole—more and more images, thronging his database, deepening the lifelessness at the heart of his spark. _Tomorrow,_ he swore restlessly. _Tomorrow I'll go to Hook and get these memories purged._ Of course he wouldn't do that; he didn't want to endure Hook's mockery. _I can just hear that Constructicon now. _His friend. His only friend…._Goodbye, Starscream. We're friends no longer. _

He was so lost in memory he didn't hear Megatron override the locking mechanism on his door until the Decepticon commander seized him by the throat, ripped him out of his bunk, and hurled him across the room. The sudden pain flooded his senses, snapping him out of it, and he looked up, as he had countless times before, to see the tall silver mech glaring down at him over the barrel of his fusion cannon.

"M….Megatron?" he faltered, trying to get his bearings.

Megatron smiled like a shark. "Very good, Starscream, I see you know who I am. Unfortunately for you, that eliminates 'ignorance' as a possible excuse for your earlier disrespect in the corridor. But we shall deal with that later. Now explain to me, please, and in great detail, exactly _why_ you felt it necessary to miss the raid I had _commanded_ you to execute in order to go to the North Pole and _meet with that Autobot traitor!!_ And Starscream," he added menacingly, "your explanation had better be good."

_He knows._ And if he knew, the whole base did. Megatron was never one for keeping things to himself. _Soundwave,_ he realized bitterly. In addition to being the communications officer, the tall blue mech could read minds. _He must have scanned me on the way in. Unless he intercepted the message Skyfire sent me and realized who it was from._ He probably had taken the greatest pleasure in telling everybody he could about it too, he thought bitterly. Everyone on the whole base was probably laughing at him now…thanks to Skyfire. His _friend._

The sound of Megatron's fusion cannon charging up jerked him back. "Starscream….I am waiting for your explanation and my patience is starting to run out. If you do not provide me a _very_ good explanation in the next five astroseconds, I shall end your treachery once and for all and believe me when I say that no one on the base shall miss you!"

_No one on the base shall miss you._ Starscream stared up at Megatron. The Decepticon leader was glowering down at him, his red optics blazing with anger, wreaths of power crackling around the barrel of his fusion cannon. He knew this was the part where he was supposed to beg, to plead for Megatron's indulgence, whining and groveling for his miserable life before the Decepticon leader, making fervent, if insincere protestations of loyalty and usefulness—this was an old drama, one that had played out many a time before—and yet somehow this time, it didn't seem to matter. The familiar, paralyzing fear that should be flooding his circuits, squeezing words from his voice processer, was absent; instead as he stared up at the furious silver mech, there was a great sense of _distance,_ as if Megatron were standing on the opposite side of a chasm from him. He felt only a great weariness, as he slumped against the wall trying to figure out what Megatron wanted him to do.

Megatron seemed to sense it too; a frown crossed his features and he lowered his weapon a fraction.

At last it came to him. "I…thought I could convince him to return to us," Starscream said slowly, editing as he went along.

Megatron's puzzled frown deepened—perhaps it was the flat and lifeless tone of his subordinate's voice, Starscream thought distantly. "You… thought you could convince him to come back?"

"He would be…a great asset," Starscream improvised. "He would have knowledge of all the Autobot codes and security arrangements. I thought it was worth a try."

He waited silently under his leader's probing gaze for what felt like a vorn, until Megatron finally lowered his fusion cannon. The puzzled look was still on his face, but he said, "Well. Perhaps that is not as …_foolish _... as some of your usual schemes, I suppose. Were you successful?"

"No." There was nothing more to say. He lowered his optics.

"Very well," Megatron said at last. "You're on punishment detail for the next twenty-eight orns. Thundercracker will temporarily take over your duties as Air Commander—a change that could very easily become permanent if you displease me further." He paused, waiting for howls of distress or some sarcastic comeback. None was forthcoming. Starscream recognized what he was saying, but again, it didn't seem to matter. Not even the thought of Thundercracker's gloating raised more than a distant irritation. Megatron was openly staring at him now in confusion. "Stay out of my sight and try not to provoke me more than you must, or I just might decide to terminate you_anyway._"

He turned and stalked out the door, letting it slam shut behind him with a bang. Alone in the dark again, Starscream crawled back onto his recharge berth and resumed staring at the ceiling, lost in memory. _Skyfire… You said we were friends no longer._ He told himself he was angry. Anger was good. Anger was strong, it erased the sick, dead feeling at the center of his spark core. _Angry. Yes. You said we were no longer friends, Skyfire. Well…if you have turned your back on me…then I turn my back on you too. I am a Decepticon and no Decepticon needs friends. Those who do are weak. You are nothing more than a weakness I left behind long ago, and it's to my own error that I didn't see this earlier. The next time we meet, I will __**prove**__ this to you._

_My old friend. _

Starscream lay there, staring into the darkness, for a long time.

_Finis._


End file.
